03 September 2012


Before the scene of Dana Lee's reunion with Eli Kee, we must allow for one last little cream tea with every girl's best friend - Ritchie, her hairdresser of 20 years. Dana Lee and Ritchie are having a traditional tea at a hotel tearoom in the heart of town. Every once in a while, a girl must be allowed her traditional cream tea, with all its sugary comforts, and surely Dana Lee deserved a hot, freshly-baked scone with with all its rich condiments more than most, having just emerged from the emotional rollercoaster ride of her life. Some sugar was in order, some caffeine and some butter too.
Sunk deeply into a nest of needlepoint pillows, some embroidered with saucy adages (“The first cup is strong like life; the second is sweet like love; and the third is bitter like death.”, for example.) Ritchie suddenly said in his clotted cream voice: “I suppose, D-D-Dana, you know darling, that the little b-b-bitch Bella Teo has announced her engagement?”
Dana Lee, who was then buttering a scone with a heavy silver knife gave a violent start, and lowered her signature dark glasses, asking “and which little bird told you this Ritch? Will this never end? Will Bella's doings dog me for the rest of my days? Can no cream tea treat be spared her nonsense?” Dana found she had inevitably heaped her pastry morsel too high with strawberry preserve, but decided to eat it nevertheless.
“I saw Bella Teo just now at the s-s-salon; I must say she looked radiantly h-h-happy, and announced ‘I need a brand new look because I’m going to get married’. So, I made free to wish her j-j-joy. Of c-c-course she enquired after you, and young Eli Kee. Bitch said: ‘Please send Dana my b-b-best c-c-compliments, and my fiance’s’. Such a p-p-pair my dear! Their best c-c-compliments! And how sorry they were they had no time to see y-y-you personally to make the announcement; but they were in such a g-g-great hurry to go to London. But, however, when they c-c-come back, they will make sure t-t-tell to you, p-p-personally.
“She had to go to London to make w-w-wedding dress, you know. Nothing from good old h-h-home will d-d-do for our little bitch!”
Dana, taking a sip of her very milky earl grey: “Cut the suspense Sister Ritchie. Coyness doesn't really become a man wearing three Chanel chain belts and studded leather jeans! Who is Bella engaged to? Out with it, Ritchie dear!”
Ritchie, refilling Dana's cup from a heavy silver pot: “He’s very a-a-affable, very c-c-civil, and very, very r-r-rich,” said Ritchie. “And he came to the salon with her.”
Dana, adding two lumps of sugar with mini silver tongs: “You saw him?”
Ritchie, adding hot milk from a silver jar: “Bella the Bitch was like the cat that swallowed the proverbial c-c-cream. And wouldn't you be thusly contented to be engaged to Adam T-T-Tan?”
Dana Lee almost dropped her cup of tea; Had the tea been in a private setting, indeed the cup and saucer would have dropped.
Dana Lee signalled to Ritchie that she didn’t need to hear anything more. Not now, anyway.

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