INSTAGRAM PURGE: THE NEW SELFIE QUEEN

Bieby's Selfie with pants

Bieby's purported Selfie's rather real looking

Instagram's stupid purge of supposed fake accounts from their site, has taken a toll on many follower lists. It has meant a huge decrease in followers for some, particularly some questionable celebrities who have so far been chalking up amazing numbers. As a result of this purge, Eg: Justin Bieber is no longer the King of Instagram. The new most-followed person on Instagram is (roll eyes) Kim Kardsashian West. 
It's hard (pun unintended) to believe that there are more people who want to look at Mrs West than Bieby - but there you go - all sorts of perversity etc.

Kate, Black and White

Fuel For Life

Photoshop put to good use.

Double The Trouble

The double cover simply means... that the poor photog had to spend double the time/ money photoshopping her to a semblance of Kate's former self.

This is Kate Winslet?

...After a huge pot of Photoshop Extra Virgin Oil Youth Serum, of course.

The Photoshop Gym Workout

Ms O after getting a complete photoshop gym workout (it involves quite a lot of clicking). That chiselled feline jaw looks completely unreal!

Miracle Photoshop Lipstick

Anyone would become a Dior Addict because this lipstick obviously comes LOADED with miracle photoshop serum - one quick swoosh and you too will look like a airbrush postcard from 1983. Only the eyeliner looks real. Oh Kate! Whatever will they do with you next?See what she looks like when she removes the lipstick?

Katie's Kate Avatar

Do you remember? When Katie Grand started this magazine she made quite a big deal of not being overly heavy-handed with Photoshop? Ms Grand was going to go against the tide and publish 'real' images: But look at this cover. Notice anything strange? It's so photoshopped that Kate looks like an avatar of Kate (in fact, she's so worked over that she's looking a bit like Karolina Kurkova?). It's so worked over that it is only minimally a photo - it's more like an illustration isn't it? We all know Kate Moss doesn't look like this, don't we? It's an idea of Kate Moss, that's all, just the idea of her.

More Uomini

More indifferent images from the Dolce & Gabbana book by Mariano Vivanco (who this? why can't they get a proper photographer for this project?) - even the backdrop (above) looks slack. And Tony Ward is always flashing his pubes these days, isn't he?

This is truly one of the most unfelt pictures I've seen of Andres V - it looks phoned-in, if you know what I mean.
Andre Z has such an elegant torso, I have to say - truly, truly flat and fatless! I've never seen him look better.

Vintage Kate

Kate now looks like an avatar of herself - so photoshopped is this image that she looks only vaguely like what she might look like. The mouth, in particular, is a truly troubling trout pout, and the nose looks incredibly sharp.
I'm also not sure if anyone wants to smell like a vintage muse - it doesn't conjure anything so much as musty, dusty, worn clothes in thrift shop bins and Chutuchuk market. It's certainly not festive, is it?

Brunette Bombshell

Kate as a brunette bombshell in Vogue Italia. By Nick Knight,styled by Edward Enninful. The story leaves me cold; Mr Knight's photos often has that effect on me, however accomplished they are.

Old People

Susan!Jane!V Magazine gets on the Old People case... Commmendable, but I'm really not sure about the wigs and that cap!
Sigourney!

Lady D.I.'s Photoshop Campaign

I know it is Lady Dior's London campaign but they've made Marion Cotillard look like the young Liz Hurley? Marion, is that choo??? And that studded strap just looks just a bit suspicious, doesn't it?

Photoshop Awards: Guess Who?

This is supposed to be Renee Zellweger in the Nov issue of British Harper's Bazaar. On second thoughts - maybe it's plastic surgery. Shocking!

Precious!

I like. Gabourey Sidibe is one of four celebrities to appear on Elle's October covers. They are celebrating their 25th anniversary. However, the magazine is drawing criticism for digitally retouching Ms Sidibe so that her skin looks several shades lighter than it is. What do you think?
It's still the most interesting cover of the four anyhow. I don't know, nor care, who the other three are.

New: The Photoshop Super Hair Growth Gel

You read it here first: Photoshop, the makers of Photoshop Day Cream and Photoshop Anti Age Serum (which has proven super efficacious in turning the 60 year old Madonna into a 30-something Faye Dunaway - chicken cutlets not included) has come up with the Photoshop Super Hair Growth Gel. Just pump this cool, tingling gel and sweep along naked pecs and abs (not fogetting the jaw, legs and arms) and a thick carpet of fuzz will begin to cover your body INSTANTLY!
Any volunteers to slather this miracle gel over the obsessively smooth Cristiano Ronaldo?

Louis Vuitton Fall Ads

Natalia, Christy and... what's supposed to be Karen Elson? Either she's had a lot of work done or she's had a lot of work done.

Poster Girl For Photoshop

Isn't Photoshop Day Cream amazing? Why bother with diet, exercise (you see, all that exercise hasn't done much for her has it?) and sun screen when all you need to do is religiously slather on Photoshop Day Cream, Night Cream, Serum, Sandblaster (the full range), Spraypaint, laminate, and look like Madonna: Embalmed, that is.

Unadorned

Adj. 1. Unadorned - not decorated with something to increase its beauty or distinction
undecorated; plain - not elaborate or elaborated; simple. Synonymns: plain, simple, severe, stark, straightforward, restrained, unfussy, unembellished, unornamented...Unvarnished, real, dignified and really quite beautiful. Top down: Isabella Rosselini, James Franco and Bjork.