Year of the Dragon

Dame Maggie Smith is the very definition of the Dragon Lady: eyes popping, nosetrils flaring, fire breathing, with the stiffest of upper lips and that cut-glass accent spitting forth a never-ending stream of short stings. Love her!

Chop Suey By Bruce Weber

I'd longed to see this 2001 film and finally, visiting PH at his new Waterloo Street flat, did. The only thing you need to know is: The book is better. In truth, there's something authentic in there somewhere (there must be - the long ramble certainly reeks of ernestly striving after something), but in the making it's been banalized out of existence. Unfortunately, the movie feels like you'd asked your favourite old queen what they really, really like and getting a three-hour answer. You sort of regret asking, and just want to say 'speed it up aunty!'. It's a scrapbook style sinking into Weber-World, and you could be looking at a very long Ralph Lauren commercial for all you know. As Weber's record of his obsession with Peter Johnson, a high-school athlete Weber commemorated in torrential detail and made a big model of in all his commercial work, it seems somehow embarrassingly shallow, reducing the young man to basically his youth. There's no sex even though that is the most obvious theme in Weber's ouvre, and reduces his work to a carnival of surfaces. This gives the film an embalmed effect. Every natural instinct seemed frantically perfumed over, making every vignette hollow and fake.
I'm glad we watched it nibbling on pineapple tarts and gossiping and laughing. I would have fallen asleep otherwise. And I am a Bruce Weber and scrapbooking fan!

Bronzino

Okay, I want you all to look at this Bronzino (Portrait of a Young Man) because it is a total antithesis of all things CNY/ Valentine's Day, and we deserve a break. I love the hands (that finger in the book just kills me) and the wonky eyes.

The Jane Austen Diet

I must be going on a diet (with the Chinese New Year feasts ahead) as I've been a shocking omnivore of late, eating any- and everything and unrepentantly remembering how, once upon a time, I would at various stretches not eat yolks, prawns, red meat, fishballs, luncheon meat. A decade went by without drinking sugary bottled drinks; Years went by without my eating cake. Now, sadly, I eat everthing like the Veronese boy (above, Boy Eating, Veronese). Durian, mango, claypot rice, birds nest, beef burger, carbonara pasta, lobster, tempura prawns, early pineapple tarts - all this within the last week.
Emma's Mr Woodhouse would not approve. Mr Woodhouse prefers plain cooking for invalids (or anyone, actually):
“Mrs. Bates, let me propose your venturing on one of these eggs. An egg boiled very soft is not unwholesome. Serle understands boiling an egg better than any body. I would not recommend an egg boiled by any body else — but you need not be afraid — they are very small, you see — one of our small eggs will not hurt you…"
Prescribed diet from Mrs Rundell's 1816 book, A New System of Domestic Cookery formed upon Principals of Economy:
1. Water Gruel
Put a large spoonful of oatmeal by degrees into a pint of water, and when smooth boil it. (You see, this is quite easy to make, but perhaps not very tasty.)
2. Eggs (click and see below)

Mandarin Orange

The Mandarin Orange(citrus reticulata) is a small citrus tree with fruit resembling other oranges, though the fruit is oblate, rather than spherical. The tree is more drought-tolerant than the fruit which is tender, and damaged easily by cold. It can be grown in tropical and subtropical areas.The mandarin has many names which actually refer to crosses between the mandarin and another citrus fruits: Examples include the Clementine, the most important commercial mandarin variety, and the Tangerine, sometimes known as a 'Christmas Orange', as its peak season is December, the Satsuma, a seedless variety growing in popularity for its ease of consumption. The mandarin is easily peeled with the fingers, and can be easily and neatly split into even segments. This makes it convenient to eat, as utensils are not required to peel or cut the fruit. The dried peel of the fruit of citrus reticulata is used in the regulation of qi in Traditional Chinese Medicine, as well as to treat abdominal distention, enhance digestion, and to reduce phlegm.The Mandarin of the name refers to the bright orange robes worn by the mandarins, public officials of the ancient Chinese court. Another distinguishing reason why they are called mandarin oranges is that these fruits were often reserved strictly for the privileged class in Asia. Although cultivated for over 3,000 years in China, mandarin oranges did not reach Europe and North America until the nineteenth century. The first mandarin oranges to be exported were shipped from the city of Tangiers in Morocco, hence the moniker 'Tangerines'.

The Tyger

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright,
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire in thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?
And what shoulder, and what art?
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand, and what dread feet?

What the hammer? What the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? What dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?
When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb, make thee?

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright,
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

- William Blake