Spring 2013: My Sacred Cows

CHANEL
One of the few collections this season that probably deserves to be studied up close, and seen worn on a moving model because the bounce and energy isn't evident in the still images. This aristocratic collection by Karl Lagerfeld actually throws up a vast array of ideas and propositions for all hours of the day - something that can't be said for many of the collections. There were brisk day dresses, easy suits, cute knits, elegant tea dresses, regal cocktail numbers and dignified formal gowns.
The tweeds were truly standouts, and beautifully coloured.

You just need to look pass the hula hoop bag, the Elizabethan pearl studs, and those plastic sombreros (which  even I don't understand!).

Bottega Veneta

A lovely, reduced collection from Tomas Maier. The burnt palette of batik colours is sensual and sultry and coupled with the romantic styling, brings to mind a story set in the tropics in the 1940s. Although these dresses glanced back at the past, they don't look dusty or cliched, just rich and intelligent.Of course the workmanship and fabrics are special, but every look bears Mr Maier's imprint and that is a true auteur's work.

DRIES VAN NOTEN
Pure romance and so perfectly balanced: This is the textbook case for the combination of soft and hard, tailored with flou, masculine with feminine, rich and poor, western and eastern. And easy to wear too!

BURBERRY PRORSUM
Christopher Bailey is tirelessly genius and this collection is wonderfully accomplished as usual, and on top of that deliciously, energetically coloured and very shapely!

Comme des Garçons
Rei Kawakubo is a true original and this collection could be a comment on the no-meaning place that fashion is at now, just a jumble of everything thrown together. A very romantic vision and what would you rather wear?

LANVIN
In a season when all you year is YSL (or any one of the handful of names we must now refer to the label), Alber Elbaz put out the definitive modern YSL collection. This reminds me that I've always thought that he was the best man for YSL. Beautiful. 

SPRING 2013: Louis Vuitton

Oh, it's nice! The discipline of it, the "Speedy-ness" of it seems relevant and quick to the times with Marc Jacobs's signature 'girliness' kept to a minimum. Also the clarity imposed by the checkerboard graphic added to the sharpness of the palette, which was tart, clear and fresh as a lemon.

I have to say that I see an Armani tribute in the way that the twin models came out in matching outfits and some of the looks have a classic Armani look to it, I'm sure you see what I mean. This in no way detracts from the strength of this collection.

Spring 2013: Celine

Minimalists still haven't moved away from the hey days of Helmut Lang and Ann Dem (1994 anyone?) except to make things look abit more ill-fitting. I think this instinct is evident in the concept slide isn't it? Not only is it determinely unlike the show-stopping baroque platforms of the shoes today, they are actually the soul/sole of ugly - you can hardly call them utilitarian!

Phoebe Philo in her I-don't-need-to-be-charming-or-please-anyone mode - is it a comment on the breathless ignorance of today's fashion slave?

SPRING 2013: Hermès

The poor silk artisans - there must be some sort of labour law in France to protect them from doing such an ugly colour combi!

These colours beg the question: What's wrong with black?

For the girls who like to tinker with car engines, surely .  The capacious bag is heavy with greasy tools.

Try to think of a mitigating factor.

If you weren't disagreeable to start with, you will soon be once you wear this look.

Words fail me and then after you weep at the hair and the strange crop, you can use the tie to wipe your eyes.

Along with flooding the market with hideous Franken-bags, Hermès seems completely to be determined to accelerate its downward drift by replacing Jean Paul Gaultier with Christophe Lemaire. How many seasons (one shudders, doesn't one?) has it been? Lemaire makes Gaultier look good, almost brilliant (quite a feat, really!). This season, Lemaire seems hell-bent on putting the ugliest clothes out, despite stiff competition from New Yuck. 

COUGARRR!!!

Don't you love this? The latest Vogue Hommes cover certainly stopped me in my tracks and isn't this what a great magazine cover is supposed to do? Wouldn't you let Marlon Texeira grab you like that (and more!) and isn't Stephanie Seymour stunning? 

But domestic violence and women’s advocacy groups are up in arms over the magazine’s Terry Richardson cover. Only in America, I'm telling you. Sanctuary for Families, Safe Horizon, Equality Now, and the New York chapter of the National Organization for Women are saying that the image connotes domestic violence with sex and glamour (only in America!). The groups have reportedly written a letter to Condé Nast, protesting the promoting of choking as “a sign of passion rather than violence” and asking that the magazine be pulled from newsstands. They’ve already received some 200 signatures (but that's not that many what? You can get more just by posting pics of a handbag what?) on their online petition on Change.org backing up this request. Only in America could they not tell that this is banal fashion magazine posing and imagery and pretty tame as far as most of the magazine's intended audience is concerned. 

THE LAST EMPRESS

This should make you titter in giddy delight: it has been announced that Gong Li will star in a China-American co-production The Last Empress, as the empress dowager Cixi. This project has 'unlikely' written all over it, and I can't wait to see how ridiculously campy this will turn out to be. The plot will purportedly chronicle Cixi’s life and her complex relationships with Emperor Guang Xu (played by Datoh Michelle Yeoh, fingers crossed). I can already forsee problems because I don't think the Manchurian court dress will allow for many scenes where Gong Li can run around the vast and forbidding corridors of the Forbidden City with heaving breasts spilling from a corset and chin thrust determinedly out whilst throwing hot tea at Zhang Zi Yi in a fit of rage! Pant, pant!

Please, Seven Stars Film Studios, please also cast Ms Zhang in this movie? Let her be some hapless palace maiden or even a ninja assasin? She should be slapped with energy and violence in every scene she appears by Cixi! It will be rivetting! Remember the big-budget film Memoirs of a Geisha? This promises to be its sequel in terms of histrionics and comedy. Can't wait!

But for now, The Last Empress is still seeking a director. This means that we can be holding our breaths forever although the film's producers are eager to get things going, hoping to shoot in October. 

Milan Madness: Spring 2013

PRADA

Really? Mink coats for spring? Mink coats with floral motifs? The Richard Avedon Vogue July 1967 cover of Twiggy immediately spring-ed into my head (see right). This season, Miuccia Prada showed shapes that are classic Prada: The modest shift dresses, the pencil skirts, the robe-coats worn open over bra tops and granny pants. All these were made in duchesse satin, that stiff, smooth almost ceremonial silk, recalling the label's heritage (this fabric was the star of the label's first few seasons).

This season the styles were made fresh by Mrs Prada's take on the Japanese aesthetic. I can only hope magazines aren't going to be literal next year and shoot Memoirs of a Geisha spreads - it would be too tiresome for words. Some of the dresses featured rigid folds that echo the folds of traditional Japanese dress, with the stiffness of obis, and the geometry of orgami - all of which you can read elsewhere as critics go into overdrive, but none will say, as I do here, that the folds recall more the elaborate gift-wrapping that comes from any purchase made in a Japanese shop. The outfits look like precious parcels. The floral motifs are fairly obvious takes (the LV monogramme canvas has these ancient flower icons) and could have come straight from those half-curtains you need to flick as you enter a sushi joint, as are those tabi socks worn with sandals, embellished with bows that are pure Hello Kitty.

New Yuck 2013: The Horror, The Horror

3.1 Phillip Lim A very depressing and disagreeable ensemble.

Altuzarra did this patchwork aunty (amongst other horrors) - this, alas, passed for sophistication. Cannot understand.

Derek Lam used the most unflattering colours he could find and made them into the unlikeliest shapes. Why bother?

New Yuck 2013: Calvin Klein Collection

This is the best of New York: More of the signature sublime, cerebral beauty from Francisco Costa, otherwise New Yuck would indeed be nothing but YUCK. Some sort of rigour and structure was in order and this was happily delivered at Calvin Klein Collection. It's pure, genteel, softly curving without ever becoming dull. A comparison with the similar monochrome collection designed by Jason Wu would be instructive - that was at once childish and dull - not to mention completely OLD.

CR Fashion Book - Carine Roitfeld's Rebirth

This week sees the launch of CR Fashion Book, the semi-annual fashion glossy that is Carine Roitfeld's comeback vehicle after leaving Vogue Paris two years ago. I can't believe it's been two years already! Two years of hating Paris Vogue - I might add. So here are the twin covers shot by Bruce Weber. There's also going to be an online version of the magazine, something to look forward to at last?
"I’m not the generation of the Internet – I’m the generation of paper magazines – but with the new site, we’re going to do CR Fashion Book online. It’s very exciting, because it will be like a diary. I hope with the Internet, it will be quicker, and like the front of the book in a classical magazine. This is something very new for me, and very exciting. It’s a new way of thinking, a new way of looking, it’s a new way of doing pictures." - Carine Roitfeld

A FASHION FAIRYTALE: HAPPY AT LAST!

Chapter 20

If Dana Lee can’t quite recall the exact first moment when she had fallen in love with Eli Kee, then strolling hand-in-hand now, in the vast evening-lit garden of the Kee family mansion, must be a moment to remember, for she felt as if she was falling in love with Eli all over again.

Dana’s heart brimmed over with the beauty of the Kee garden. The mango and star-fruit trees were matured and formed a shadowy canopy that sighed softly in the breeze and the stone walks were lined with rare flowering shrubs. The walks all led to a Victorian (cast iron, 1861) fountain that splashed gracefully into a shallow carp pool. None of this, including the vaguely Spanish-style manor up on the slopes could mean a thing if Eli wasn’t finally by her side. How can Dana Lee’s feelings be described? From the depths of emotional turmoil after The Ice Ball, she had slowly climbed back to her sunny disposition: from the moment she heard of Bella Teo’s engagement to her old friend Adam Tan, to Eli justifying his strange behaviour, and learning about Bella’s sad early life from Eli himself, to forgiving Bella her betrayals; to Eli’s proposing to her just a moment ago, Dana felt by turns tranquil, uncertain, then joyful. In the sunshine of Eli’s embrace, Dana Lee had regained her old positivity, and most of her former confidence.

Dana was mostly relieved, and grateful even, to Bella, that for the moment, she was no longer the focus and target of gossip and speculation. The surprise news of Bella Teo’s engagement to Adam Tan was now the unceasing wonder of the entire fashion flock, and formed one of the busiest discussions on mobile data plans. Dana's intimate knowledge of the pair made it seem to her one of the most unlikely and unaccountable pairings she had ever heard, and she had witnessed quite a few in her time. How could Bella and Adam be together? By what attraction could Adam Tan be drawn to a girl like Bella? A girl whose manner he had spoken with derision and scorn, a girl proven beyond doubt to be insidious, insecure, needy and conniving? The union was beyond Dana’s comprehension.

In the depths of her heart, and in her own happiness, she wished Adam Tan well, of course. But to her mind, Adam’s choice was a complete puzzle. Eli attempted an explanation by supposing, that, perhaps, the vanity of Adam Tan’s ego, more than his heart, had been enslaved by the cunning flattery of Bella Teo quickly after Dana’s rejection of his offer. This had led to the speedy, mutually-beneficial romantic conclusion. Dana recalled Adam getting friendly with Bella not very long ago, thinking only of procuring publicity for his retail businesses. But sly little Bella Teo could, of course, would have had her own agenda in getting close to Adam. Bella always had an agenda, didn’t she? Perhaps it came from having lost her mother at a tender age?

Eli Kee’s invitation to visit his family home came with an important errand. His main purpose was to ask Dana to marry him in the dearest setting he could think of – his own family grounds. And considering that he was inexperienced in such an emotional task, Eli needed the comforting familiarity and encouragement of all he held important – and the fresh air helped, of course. Eli addressed her with affection and tenderness, and Dana Lee was overcome by her own happiness, said ‘Yes’.

Later, Dana, her mother and Eli sat down for dinner at eight o'clock in Dana’s home, only about four hours after Eli’s return from Bangkok. But though exhausted, he had happily secured Dana’s forgiveness. By coffee, Eli had gained Mrs Tina Lee's absolute approval, and was one of the happiest of men. His situation was made completely joyful because for once, he could boast of professional achievement – his album launch had been deemed a success, and his pride in this raised his confidence immeasurably. There was still a long way to go of course, and many mountains to scale but he had made a start, and now longer hid in the shadows of this family fortune. His heart and head were now free to be filled with Dana Lee only, and if any couple could live happily ever after, that couple would be the future Mr and Mrs Kee.

A FRESH START

Starting January 1, 2013, Stefano Pilati will be at Ermenegildo Zegna, as head of design for the brand's menswear lines, as well as creative director for Agnona, the house's women's ready-to-wear and accessories line. Mr Pilati was the brilliant, if troubled, head designer at Yves Saint Laurent post Tom Ford (since 2004); His Fall 2012 collection, shown in Paris last March, was his last for that label. 
His first collections for Ermenegildo Zegna and Agnona will be shown in June 2013.

A FASHION FAIRYTALE: A WEDDING IS ANNOUNCED

CHAPTER 19
Before the scene of Dana Lee's reunion with Eli Kee, we must allow for one last little cream tea with every girl's best friend - Ritchie, her hairdresser of 20 years. Dana Lee and Ritchie are having a traditional tea at a hotel tearoom in the heart of town. Every once in a while, a girl must be allowed her traditional cream tea, with all its sugary comforts, and surely Dana Lee deserved a hot, freshly-baked scone with with all its rich condiments more than most, having just emerged from the emotional rollercoaster ride of her life. Some sugar was in order, some caffeine and some butter too.

Sunk deeply into a nest of needlepoint pillows, some embroidered with saucy adages (“The first cup is strong like life; the second is sweet like love; and the third is bitter like death.”, for example.) Ritchie suddenly said in his clotted cream voice: “I suppose, D-D-Dana, you know darling, that the little b-b-bitch Bella Teo has announced her engagement?”

Dana Lee, who was then buttering a scone with a heavy silver knife gave a violent start, and lowered her signature dark glasses, asking “and which little bird told you this Ritch? Will this never end? Will Bella's doings dog me for the rest of my days? Can no cream tea treat be spared her nonsense?” Dana found she had inevitably heaped her pastry morsel too high with strawberry preserve, but decided to eat it nevertheless.

“I saw Bella Teo just now at the s-s-salon; I must say she looked radiantly h-h-happy, and announced ‘I need a brand new look because I’m going to get married’. So, I made free to wish her j-j-joy. Of c-c-course she enquired after you, and young Eli Kee. Bitch said: ‘Please send Dana my b-b-best c-c-compliments, and my fiance’s’. Such a p-p-pair my dear! Their best c-c-compliments! And how sorry they were they had no time to see y-y-you personally to make the announcement; but they were in such a g-g-great hurry to go to London. But, however, when they c-c-come back, they will make sure t-t-tell to you, p-p-personally.

“She had to go to London to make w-w-wedding dress, you know. Nothing from good old h-h-home will d-d-do for our little bitch!”

Dana, taking a sip of her very milky earl grey: “Cut the suspense Sister Ritchie. Coyness doesn't really become a man wearing three Chanel chain belts and studded leather jeans! Who is Bella engaged to? Out with it, Ritchie dear!”

Ritchie, refilling Dana's cup from a heavy silver pot: “He’s very a-a-affable, very c-c-civil, and very, very r-r-rich,” said Ritchie. “And he came to the salon with her.”

Dana, adding two lumps of sugar with mini silver tongs: “You saw him?”

Ritchie, adding hot milk from a silver jar: “Bella the Bitch was like the cat that swallowed the proverbial c-c-cream. And wouldn't you be thusly contented to be engaged to Adam T-T-Tan?”

Dana Lee almost dropped her cup of tea; Had the tea been in a private setting, indeed the cup and saucer would have dropped.
Dana Lee signalled to Ritchie that she didn’t need to hear anything more. Not now, anyway.

A FASHION FAIRYTALE: HIS SIDE OF THE STORY

CHAPTER 18

Had Dana Lee heard Eli’s side of the story in person, had she seen with her eyes his true distress, and observed his dismay, her emotion couldn’t have been greater than it was from just reading his letter. Back at home, in the privacy of her bedroom, at home, before her writing desk, Dana Lee took out Eli’s letter from her Chanel purse to study for the fifth time. She still couldn’t quite believe how one handwritten letter, two sheets of mere paper (blue), scribbled untidily, could change her life.

This is what Eli wrote:

“I’m sorry Dana, I’m very, very sorry. It was very foolish and stupid of me, to be so manipulated by Bella. I see how this must be hurting you. When I recall the look of pain that night of the ball, it hurts me too. Deeply. I’m not making excuses, but let me explain my actions and maybe it will go a little way in making you feel better. This is what happened that day: Bella insisted on flying me back from Manila, just for The Ice Ball. I tried my best to reason with her about my work and everything, but she played the pity card. She said it would be damaging to her reputation and her career not to have a suitable date on so important an occasion, and that I probably won’t take her because she was nobody but a driver’s daughter.

Bella knows just how to punch my pity buttons. She has practiced for 20 years! Tired as I was, I agreed finally. But I insisted that I would have to fly back to Manila immediately after the ball. My album is the most important thing to me right now. For the first time in my life, I have some personal achievement, a serious career goal to work towards, and I wasn’t about to let my schedule be messed up just because she needed a date for a party. Please forgive me for the hurt I have caused you. I can only say that it stems from my ignorance, and my sad lack of confidence.

My older brother never gave me an active role in my family’s business, and I didn’t have any real ambition in that area any way. All my life, I’d nothing serious to engage my time, nothing to take me away from Bella; And surely she wouldn’t have thought herself attached to me had I been more distant to her, but we were close. I can’t deny that. Being my mother’s favourite, I never had much to do, and not much to occupy my time, except my music. I was indulged as the youngest son, and was allowed whatever I liked, which meant that I was at home a lot and saw Bella more than I saw anyone.

“But you see, Bella is like a sister to me. I’m certainly not in love with Bella, nor ever been, not even slightly. She was brought up, when her mother died in our family’s service, like the little girl that my mother had wanted after giving birth to us two boys. It was always joked that Bella would marry one of us brothers so that she would become a ‘daughter’ of the family – but I don’t think anyone ever took this very seriously – except, evidently, Bella herself. It’s probably cruel to say such things to children, even in jest, to raise any vain hope, but that’s all there was to it.

“Her mother was our nanny, her dad our family chauffeur, and she’s my childhood friend. That’s all her relationship is to me.

“I don’t have many friends, and my brother is too busy for me. I’m shy, so it was natural for me to be close to Bella. She and I spent our teens together, until she went to work at Glossy, for you. She always appeared nice, and she was always smart, smarter than me. Considering everything, I hope, unforgivable as my behaviour has been in every way, you can understand where I’m coming from. Please wait for me until I return from Bangkok next week; The last leg of my tour will end there, and then I will see you, and I will explain everything else to your satisfaction.

“I love you. Eli.”

The change in mood which this letter wrought in the mind and heart of Dana Lee was so great that it promised yet another sleepless night. And after Dana happily told her mother the contents of Eli’s letter, Mrs Tina Lee, went to bed with a box of candied ginger. She got more and more comfortable with visions of Eli Kee as a new member of her family, someone new to fuss over and gossip about. 

A FASHION FAIRYTALE: THE LETTER

CHAPTER 17

A restless night spent tossing and turning determined her resolve: Dana Lee decided that she had to go back to work, and at the next possible opportunity, refuse Adam Tan as certainly as cannot be mistaken. She had also decided that she would not be returning to Adam Tan’s Sentosa Cove refuge after last night’s little situation with the self-made multi-millionaire. She will not be pressurised that way, or any other way, and she was certain, because she knew Adam so well, that his next move would involve an important piece of jewellery. This will not do; Scenes were to be avoided at all costs. Well, at least the scene last night had galvanised Dana back to life - fleeing and escape is not something to be indulged in too often.

You’d think in this age of all things digital that Dana Lee’s accumulated mail would be somewhat less of a pile – but no. Back in her office, bills and bank statements in official, windowed envelopes; stacks of press releases in all their designer stiffness; Thick catalogues in heavy stock and invites in fancy lettering swelled her week’s mail to two cardboard cartons full, sorted into rubber-banded bundles by her loyal, if flighty, assistant Queenie. This was not to mention the pages and pages of e-mail, of course.

Everything, in short, but a word from Eli. 

Mary Cassatt

Dana Lee, anxious to escape her emotional turmoil, delved into the boxes of mail with something akin to gusto, scissors and silver envelope knife to the ready. What caught her eye at once was a square cream letter, addressed to her in handwriting – Eli’s handwriting. Dana Lee’s heart almost leapt from her composed Armani jacket at the recognition, and she took it up at once, and shutting the glass door of her minimalist office for more privacy, she opened the letter.  

A FASHION FAIRYTALE: A SORT OF PROPOSAL

Chapter 16

In the slate patio of the villa, with the darkness of the jungle enclosing them in a glow of lantern light, Dana and Adam sit by the pool. Adam Tan had come to look in on Dana to see if she needed anything. He brought more champagne and Dana took out the Lalique crystal flutes she discovered the pantry. “Come, come,” said Adam. “You must not mope. You must preserve your looks and spirit – you are the queen of fashion, aren’t you? We can’t have you looking so droopy and sad – tell me how I can cheer you up. Some bubbly?”

Adam had said this in such a tone as to leave Dana in no doubt of what was on his mind. She immediately sensed that it would be wisest to get it over as soon and as quietly as possible.

“Listen to me, Dana,” continued Adam, “your reticence, and disappointment over Eli, actually adds to your perfection. Your little thing over that young man doesn’t affect how I feel about you, I certainly expect you to have had your romances. I’ve had my share. And your unwillingness now is understandable. Let me remind you that your beloved mother will certainly approve of my intentions, intentions too marked to be mistaken, even by Mrs Lee. Almost as soon we met six years ago, I had singled you out as the companion of my future life.

“My reasons for wanting to settle down are, first, that I think it right for any man in my success to set an example in society. I've always led by example. Secondly, I’m convinced you will add greatly to my happiness. I assure you there are many young women available to me. But no one that can compare to you. When we are married…”

Dana almost jumped off the canvas sofa at the word 'married', and felt it absolutely necessary to interrupt Adam before he went any further. The whole thing was coming off like a presentation, and had Adam Pang had a laser pointer, he would no doubt be using it.

"You’re rushing ahead of the plot, Adam!" Dana said. "You forget that I have made no indication as to my feelings. Accept my grateful thanks for the great compliment you are paying me. I’m truly honoured by your feelings and intentions, but things really are confused for me, and at the moment I…”

"I won’t be discouraged by what you say, Dana. I can make you very happy, and I'm convinced that I'm man for you,” answered Adam, stubbornly patient.

“Adam, I need time. I need the space to think of what I want. Please believe what I’m saying. I wish you to be very happy, and by telling you my true feelings..." And rising as she spoke, Dana would have bolted the patio, had not Adam quickly said: “Alright. Calm down. As long as it isn't a flat 'no'. When I speak to you next on this subject, I hope to receive a more positive response than you have given me tonight. I’m not unworthy of your acceptance: my circumstances are more than many men can offer you. My comfortable life, my connections, and my properties, are everything you can expect, and more.”

“Thank you once again for the honour, it's flattering and my ego certainly in needs a boost, Adam. But to accept your proposal now would be an insult to you. I'm truly confused. Please understand that I’m speaking from my heart.”

Adam immediately, and in silence, left the villa, not quite in a huff but not calmly either, and Dana felt more alone than ever in that empty vast space.

The champagne was untouched.

A FASHION FAIRYTALE: SUGAR PUNS

Chapter 15

Flight! 

Not for the first time that year did Dana Lee find herself in fleeing, packed away at Adam Pang’s Sentosa Cove hideaway. It struck Dana, even in her misery, that the vacant villa had the vibe of a high security prison. On one side was the South China Sea, now grey-green now white-blue, ceaselessly ebbing and flooding; on the other, was a glade of trees, in a dark tropical tangle, full of the sound of unseen birds and insects and things crashing through the leaves at night; a curving drive led from the tall security gates to the main door with its digital lock. “I could be the mistress of all this, and leave the fashion and publishing world behind...,” thought Dana, as she walked along the edge of the garden by the water, at sunset. In the distance, peacocks screamed. “Will I miss it? The artificial glitter of it all? The competition every which way I turn, the uncertainty, the stress? Probably not. If I had the time on my hands, I would really be able to spend all my time gardening, which I truly love, and reading all the books I’ve been wanting to read. Marriage will be like house arrest, but it would also mean a certain kind of freedom – and Adam, dear loyal Adam, he will be my warden…” 

All this might have been and the story must end here, except, of course, that Eli Kee was someone that Dana Lee had belatedly discovered she loved. The very peacocks seemed to be screaming her emotions out to the universe, and Dana had finally to admit to the powerful emotion. Her immense pain at the thought that Eli was claimed by someone else brought her feelings clearly before her, the intensity of which had never occurred to her before, not in the giddy, romantic phase of their flirtation. But was Eli Kee a figment of her imagination? Was he even the person that Dana loved, because so much was yet hidden and unexplained in his behaviour? That Eli Kee could have concealed from her all the details of his relationship to Bella Teo seemed incongruent with his profession of openness and warmth. And that he was in fact an heir to a sugar and tinned fruit fortune, and wasn’t the starving artist-prince of the ragged jeans and soulful songs, was a big shock to Dana. “He’s a completely different man from the sweet boy who picks me up in the broken down panel van. No wonder there was always an air of the kid in him; he’s born to privilege after all, wrapped securely in the bubble wrap of wealth,” reflected poor, heartbroken Dana Lee. "And I can't call him a sweet boy any more - it would sound like the most dreadful pun!"

“How could I have been so foolish, mother?” wailed Dana over the phone. The dismal thought instantly occurred to her: "It's inherited."

“You were always a dreamy, romantic thing, not, unlike me, always the best judge of character,” replied Mrs Tina Lee, from her chintz sofa. “Stay in bed, my dear, and turn on the security alarm. It must be terrible for you to hear this matter talked about; and as for myself, I won’t mention a word about it to anyone. I did not mention a thing all dinner last night. Except to Uncle John, and his two banking daughters. But they are all very thoughtful, discreet and considerate; especially since I gave them a hint, as to who Eli is! They had such a jolly time of it and all through coffee, you know, nudged and poked about how sweet the cakes were and was it tinned fruit they saw on the custard? Uncle John was quite beside himself with the jollity of the brown sugar cubes and said he never tasted such sweet coffee as in our house! But they were most discreet and never mentioned the Kee word! I do think the less said about such things, the better, the sooner blown over and forgot. And what does talking ever do, you know?”

“Mother you didn’t say anything to Uncle John and his two banking daughters! How could you, mother?” cried Dana.

But Mrs Tina Lee could, and did. 

A FASHION FAIRYTALE: AND THEN THEY SAID

Chapter 14: Phone Calls, Various

Queenie, Editorial Assistant, Flair, in a the fashion closet, sorting out shoes:

“And then Ms Dana didn’t say a word, turned, and all but ran out of the ballroom as if chased by a bear. Both Eli Kee and Adam Tan started to go after her. But it was sooo crowded you know, and I heard Bella the Bitch saying “come back here, Eli Kee!” 

And I said, “Take Ms Dana home, Mr Tan, please.” And he actually did what I said – I think I’m in love with Adam Tan now. I wanted to talk to Eli, I wanted to ask him, I had to see what’s happening - something dreadful between them. But Bella the Bitch stopped me, and pulled Eli away and do you know I nearly fainted? Not from the heat, but from the shock of seeing Eli drive Belle away from The Ice Ball in a 1950s Daimler Phaeton in Edinburgh Green. Imagine that! Ms Dana’s favourite green!”

Mrs Tina Lee, Ex Beauty Queen, from her sofa:

“She came back in one of her moods, you know, looking dreadfully white, and unable to stand, sunk into her bed without taking that mint green gown off; I was expecting every moment to see her faint, and asked her “why that face young lady? Is the gown too tight?” at which my dear girl burst into tears, and did you know while reviving her with some organic lavender water, I had to tell her to stop her hystrionics or I would get nightmares? Yes, Dr Chiong had prescribed me utter peace and tranquility after 8pm. I was not to ever even watch the news. “No, my dearest Dana darling,” said I, “your tears and explanations must wait only till tomorrow. Would you like some hot milk?"

Ritchie, Top Hairstylist, from a café table, dark glasses on:

“Oh y-y-yes I heard about the debacle, and I called Bella Teo the B-B-Bitch and said “w-w-what is the meaning of this?” And she laughed with d-d-delight and said that Eli Kee looked splendid in a t-t-tuxdo and was such a hit with the g-g-girls and I said “did you rent the c-c-car too?” and b-b-bitch said the car belonged to Eli Kee’s family, and rang off! Yes, Dana always said that Eli was a starving artist, and what s-s-starving artist drives a vintage Daimler Phaeton unless he’s the c-c-chauffeur? Impossible! So I made a f-f-few calls and it turns out that our Eli Kee is hardly starving; He’s the youngest s-s-son of the Kee Sugar Cane family! I swear to g-g-god I’m not making this up! Sugar. Cane. Plantation. Candy. Syrup. Tinned p-p-pineapple. Tinned bloody r-r-rambutan. No wonder Eli could afford to p-p-play the starving artist! He’s from the very o-o-oldest old rich with m-m-money coming out of their ears like sugar from the s-s-shaker, my dear.”

Snowdrops, President of the Eliments Fan Club, from her room, with the computer on.

“Our idol really, truly is from the Kee Sugar Family, and filthy rich. Got another older brother but divided by two the money still a lot. No, the brother not a singer, he eldest so have to run the business. I found out from my friend who knows a friend whose mother actually works in the family home – yes, imagine the sort of info that auntie can get for the website, can also take picture of his toilet – that the girl that he’s dating – yes, he’s seeing some girl – but my source, the auntie, says that it’s truly not confirmed if they really, really dating. Because they have known each other since they were in pampers and this girl Bella Teo, not the older girl I saw Eli with in The French Place, no it’s this Bella girl, who is actually the daughter of another family servant. She’s the daughter of Eli’s nanny, who passed away when she was only six and so the Kee family sort of adopted her and brought her up, and she lives with the family still, so they may get married because the Kee family already treat her sort of like family what.”

A FASHION FAIRYTALE: THE BELLE OF THE BALL

CHAPTER 13
Dana Lee resplendent in the Grand Ballroom, at The Heritage Hotel, 9pm.

Dana Lee took Adam Tan’s arm and they arrived in due time at The Ice Ball, dressed to the nines. The regal pair ascended the sweeping marble stairs (1910) and entered a room splendidly lit up by huge crystal chandeliers (Viennese), pressed full of the best (very few) and worst dressed (overwhelming majority) in society. Toes and trains were trodden upon, as was the custom. Many assumed that Dana and Adam were a couple – so compatible did they look, and in some minds, they were destined for each other. They certainly did go out in public together often enough.

The ballroom was insufferably hot, despite the “ice” theme, and the heat caused the ladies’ makeup to melt, so that they looked like characters from a Tim Burton movie. When they had paid their tribute of politeness to various dignitaries (His Excellency, the Swedish Ambassador was gracing the ball) in the VIP area, Dana Lee and Adam Tan went their separate ways to network in the crowd, and take their share of the heat and inconvenience, to which their arrival must necessarily added. Dana, with a flute of Dom Perignon (1995) turning quickly warm in her hands, had not remained circulating long, before she spotted Bella Teo, standing in the middle of the room, in earnest conversation with a model-tall, elegantly-clad and very fashionable-looking young man whose back faced the Dana. Bella caught her eye, and Dana nodded slightly in acknowledgement, but without attempting to speak. She have had enough of Bella over the many days of fashion shows, and had run completely out of politeness and patience. And for once, Bella Teo also failed to assail Dana, but continued what appeared to be an intense conversation with the young man, whose back faced the room, surrounded by a knot of trendy young things. "Bella," Dana thought, "looks like a mongoose hypnotising a young cobra!"

Suddenly, Queenie spotted Dana and swished swiftly up to her, his whole countenance glowing with delight and excitement. Dana said to him: “Queenie! Please get a hold of yourself! People will think you’ve never been to a ball. They’ll find out that I sneaked you in with Emma’s invite.” But Queenie clutched at Dana’s arm, almost panting with excitement, and gasped, "My goodness! He’s there - he looks so hansome - Oh! Why doesn’t he turn around and look at us? Why can’t we speak to him? Why won’t he leave Bella Teo’s side? Don’t you see him, Ms Dana?" cried Queenie impatiently, and would have moved towards Bella's black-clad male instantly, had not Dana caught hold of him.

Who was the mystery man that got Queenie all excited? Finally, the young man turned round, for Queenie had caused quite a little commotion. Queenie made such a fluster that everyone noticed, and the young man saw them both. Dana Lee turned cold, all of a sudden, and saying his name in a whisper, held tightly on to Queenie, to stop him from dashing forward. The model-tall man, wearing an elegant glossy-black tuxedo, and talking only to Bella Teo with his back to the room, was none other than Eli Kee.